Monday, July 20, 2009
For those who want to talk ABOUT me....
For those of you who would like to talk ABOUT me, but are too coward to say who you are or talk to me, I give you this. You know nothing about me or my situation. Yes, I live with my parents again. I have been back in California for just over 4 years. I moved home and shortly after my husband of 5 years left me with a 3 year old child to take care of. I found a job and got her into preschool, I paid for ALL of my bills and her schooling and helped where I could with household expenses, including buying food for her and I and the rest of the house. I did get pregnant again, and yes I chose to keep him, but so did his dad. I moved out and was paying my own way until I was put on bed rest. I went and got whatever I could from the state. During this time I ended up losing my job. Yes my parents helped out in covering what I could not for about 3 months until my lease was up. At this time I moved in with my sons father where I lived for a year. The living situation got very ugly and bad, so I did what was in the best interest of my kids and left. That was when I moved out here. Yes my parents once again assisted me in paying for what I could not while I lived with a roommate and was trying to get established out here. Also during all of this my daughter, who has an eye condition diagnosed at 9 months and has required 2 surgeries, was also diagnosed with ADHD. I have taken her to many psychiatrist, psychologist, doctor, and school appointments and done a lot of research trying to help her. And to each and every appointment I have taken my son as well. Not asked my parents to watch him or to take her, but ME! While living with this roommate I discovered she was stealing the money we were giving her to go party as well as stealing food for my kids to feed her own. She was facing eviction so I again moved in with my parents. This leads us to present day. I was under the false pretense that someone was going to do whatever he could to move out here and make it right, it never happened, it never will happen, and it was my bad to think it would happen. I have been to the welfare office, I only qualify for Medi-Cal. I get too much in child support for cash aid and don't qualify for unemployment to get cal works. So, with that being said, I have learned many lessons in my journey, most of which, don't trust or rely on men! As for my posting my resume, so many said they want to help and most jobs are had by who you know. So, who do you know? IS there anyone out there who can send my resume on for a decent job to help me get on track? Oh, and I have done some research, it will cost me $150-200 a week for child care for my son. Not sure about my daughter as I cannot find anyone who does drop off/pick up at her school. Plus she needs extra help and attention for homework. Also, I need to meet with her school about once a month to go over her progress and see what can be done to continue keeping her up with her class. And for those who think I just lounge around here eating bon-bons while my parents take care of us, you're wrong! I get my kids up every morning, feed them, get my daughter to school even summer school, bathe them, change them, wash our clothes, tuck them in at night, play with them, teach them, all the things that a parent SHOULD do, everyday, except for when I have to go to work! Yes work! A part time thing that I am lucky to do on occasion, especially lately! Oh, and I am posting my resume elsewhere, like job search engines, but how would you know that unless you asked.
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Good luck Heather!I do know how tough it is to be a single mom. Have you considered going back to school and having calworks pay for it? They will help you. I've done it all believe me but I completed my education in spite of it all with a little assistance. That being said, I really dont think you need to open yourself like this blog for anyone. Your a good mom and screw whoever tells you different. People always think the grass is greener on the other side.....
ReplyDeleteFirst of all my name is Kristin and I am on of Kyle’s friends that has followed his ranting over this situation for a little bit. Second I want to say I may not know you but I understand the situation that you are in. I was there my self once.
ReplyDeleteJust a little background info on me. I have two kids one is 5 the other will be 4 in September. I was married to there Dad for about 3 and a half years but we were together for almost 5. When I was 6 months Prego with my first I quit working and stayed home.
We lived in Nevada for a bit and the situation out there was not a good one. I decided I was going to leave and packed up the kids with $350.00 to my name. I went and lived with my mom for a little bit. With in a month and a half I had a job and the kids in school. I came to live with my mom in the end of February. I moved out in the beginning of August. And started school….Stupid me let my Ex come back to us…he moved in with us and with in 2 months was diagnosed with cancer. So I was the sole provider not only for me and my kids but for him to…and since we had lived in Nevada and were now in CA he did not qualify for any sort of disability or anything like that…
Needless to say that did not work out. I kicked him out finished my lease and moved back in with my mom so I could save money (because of all the extra expenses of having him in and out of the hospital racked up my credit cards.) I lived with my mom from 4 months paid all our own expenses and paid my mom rent.
Now I live on my own in my own apartment. Still work at the same place that I started at almost 3 years ago and I am still in school…(almost done with that)
I’m not saying that the life is not hard because it is…It is very challenging. But you can make it what you want it to be.
And as far as having a kid with special needs I know how that goes too.
I understand…I really do. But in the same I don’t see how you are making it so hard on you.
If you need any pointers of how I did it…Let me know. Ill try to help. But you got to help your self.
Thank you Kristen and Tracey. Now that's help and a positive perspective. Not real sure what good old anonymous up there was doing re-posting what I said or where they were going, but hey, that's probably why they are anonymous. I think the hardest part for me right now has been time management, it's been a problem I've had for a while. But I cannot let it still be a problem, I think I said that in another blog. So I am trying to better budget my time on finding a job, getting the job here up and running, and taking care of the kids. Like while he is napping and she's at school, filling out applications online. The other tough part, that some will see as an excuse, is believing that my parents will actually watch the kids for me. My dad has been doing great so far while I have been working for Papyrus. As for my mom, well she still needs some tweaking. I actually applied for and got a job at a store in the Lake Elsinore Outlets, but when I told her about it she said she wasn't watching them and it was a crap job. Wonder what she thinks now. She says she will do it now and I hope she does. I would really love to go back to school. I am halfway through 2 degrees. Would be nice to get at least one done. Let's see how working goes first though. Thank you again for those who really are trying to help and not just put me down as a mom and a person, I am human, and I do have feelings. But I haven't let it break me yet!
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